I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
