just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
