I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
