Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
