omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
