are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
