The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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