the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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