Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
