We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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