He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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