My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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