Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
