try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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