just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
