Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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