I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
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