His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
