I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize