i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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