smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
