I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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