I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
