What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You pole danced in your parka.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
