ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
