I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
