I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you inspire me to be a worse person
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
