your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
