lets start a swedish sibling band together
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
