im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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