Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you would pick up someone in the library
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
