Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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