I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
