$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize