Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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