I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize