So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
