brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
