go do what you do best...puke behind churches
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
