I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
