i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
