I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
