And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
