Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
