so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
