Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
