I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
