halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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