i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Small penises have feelings too.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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