Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
accomplished twins. life is a go
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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