do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
