He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
