dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
