Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh god it's open bar.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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