you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
