Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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