Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
