franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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