I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
