We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
