he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
