is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
