I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize