i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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