Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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