It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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