glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
