You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
