I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
