Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
