btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
