was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
