she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
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Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
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My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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