omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
